No Room for Rage
3 Effective Ways to Ease Anger
Finding yourself blowing up at inappropriate times? Taking your anger out on innocent family members or coworkers? Do you find yourself yelling while driving - perhaps at the radio or at other drivers?
I’ve been there. I remember getting so frustrated and angry at work when my solutions to issues were ignored because I was new. Only listening to my idea after all of the other ones failed. And then, never getting credit for the solution I provided. I was so aggravated.
I let mounting bills and financial stress strain my family relationships. I was so angry about finances that I put them before the people I loved.
It was difficult. But when out of control anger affects work life, home life, relationships, and contentment, it’s time for a shift.
Our culture is geared to push forward, grow, make things happen, produce. All of this can culminate in a need to force things to happen! Get the promotion at work. Upgrade the phone. Lease a new car. Pay the bills. We grow up always looking for the next thing.
We aren’t living from our grounded center, from the essence of who we are. We’re whipped around by stressed thoughts and emotions that are right at the surface, ready to break. And when this is the culture of our family life or work life, we are trained to bounce around reacting to life rather than experiencing the vast beauty of it. If you’re living out of balance, here’s what you may begin to notice.
YOU MAY NOTICE FEELING:
- QUICK TO ANGER
- PAINFUL JOINTS
- PENT UP PHYSICAL ENERGY
- EXCESS GAS
- MENTALLY STUCK OR OBSESSIVE THINKING
- UNABLE TO MAKE DECISIONS
- FEELING LOST OR HOPELESS
- TROUBLE MAKING DECISIONS
HOW OTHERS MIGHT DESCRIBE YOU:
- CONTROLLING
- UNFOCUSED
- PUSHY
- HARSH TO EVERYONE
- JOYLESS
- SELFISH
- DIFFICULT TO WORK WITH
WHAT TO DO:
-
Three breaths.
Give yourself 3 breaths before responding when you’re in a stressful situation. Three inhales, three exhales. Yep. The silence can be uncomfortable at first, but you will begin to notice a sense of groundedness settling into you. Three deep breaths to notice that your spinning mind and emotions don’t control you.
-
Three Pauses.
Schedule 3 pauses during the day. Make sure they are on your schedule. Set an alarm for 10:00, 12:00 and 2:00 to attend to you. If you stick to this schedule, you will begin to ease not only frustration and anger but your emotions and your thoughts won’t be in control. You will. It’s vital to understand your thoughts and emotions and physical sensations are guides to your behavior - NOT the controller of it. Taking these three breaks puts you into the practice of living from the essence of who you are - not from the guides of your physical, mental or emotional tools.
-
Eat a grapefruit.
I know. It sounds like an odd idea. But the good things we put into our bodies helps bring balance to our internal chemistry. Chop up some fresh mint and sprinkle it over this juicy bitter for a fresh morning start! This is a great healer for the liver, which is the Organ System deeply affected by anger and obsessive behavior. Or, add grapefruit to a bowl of fresh berries for sweetener and you’ve hit another double duty because berries are also amazing for maintaining liver health. The liver is so important in circulating energy in the body, you really want it to be healthy.
With these steps, you may notice a shift. And so might others around you:
YOU MAY NOTICE FEELING:
- WORK IS MORE ENJOYABLE
- PAIN IS REDUCED OR ELIMINATED
- THE AFTERNOON CAFFEINE JOLT ISN’T NECESSARY
- ABDOMINAL GAS IS REDUCED OR ELIMINATED
- YOU’RE HAPPY
- DECISIONS COME EASILY
- YOU FEEL ASSERTIVE AND SUPPORTED
WHAT COWORKERS AND LOVED ONES
SAY ABOUT YOU:
- GREAT LEADERSHIP
- I FEEL HEARD AND SUPPORTED
- EASY TO BE WITH
- FAIR
- ELEVATES EVERYONE AROUND
- DIRECT AND CLEAR
Even though our culture is geared to push forward, we have the choice to maintain balance. And, when we begin to bring balancing practices into our lives gradually, those shifts create bigger life changes. That’s the key. Small, simple practices. Three breaths, three pauses, and hey, try a grapefruit.
If you want to incorporate a daily practice, check out my Taiji For Balance program. The benefits of taiji aren’t limited to the physical body. When these slow, meditative movements are practiced with even breathing, all of the other body systems respond creating internal healing and an overall sense of centered stillness and well being. The nervous system, digestive system, cardiovascular system - all of our systems gently come back into balance. It’s a practice that lasts a lifetime and creates a lifetime well spent.
